Rejection again...?

This is the time where all writers have their fingers crossed and praying at the altars asking God to give us a hand up. Yes, this is indeed the time. I'm salivating on the moments that pass by—when all of my dreams are a heartbeat away—or in this case a query away.

I've fixed my stellar query, wrapped it up, customized it to best fit the agent prospect. But, after sending out a batch of 11 queries, it seems like my dream may still be far from being realized. I have gotten three declined responses. First, the response was no since the agency does not handle YA novels anymore. I understand that since it's a company policy. So in short, I wouldn't want them representing me if they really are not representing my work. It's common knowledge. I guess they have a good enough excuse. Secondly, I've sent out a query letter to a maybe agent candidate. Her lineups doesn't include full blown fantasy and dark fantasy. She's more of a laid back fantasy reader with a little bit of everything. Plus she read the synopsis and sample chapters. I think it wasn't really her novel to pick up at the store. I guess that's okay too. But now, I was sent a reject letter by an agency who specializes in YA, fantasy and science fiction. The all three genres that is what I'm all about. To add to that, the agent specifically loves multicultural books which is what my book is. And to add fuel to the fire, they based it on my query only. They didn't even ask for sample chapters. Alas, life being unfair strikes again. I would have kindly understood a declination if it had been on a good standpoint. Not a standpoint that is based on one paragraph that people think the story itself is not good enough to read. I do hope when I find that agent, he gets me for what the book is all about and not because of the query or any other tools the literary world has belittled us into using.

Every rejection is indeed hard to take, but when the rejection is on a really low level of decision making; you question yourself; you question your integrity as a writer; you question your work and its greatness; you question your capability. I do hope the next agent that rejects does in fact reject me because of the fact that he wasn't passionate about my work, not because he just didn't get my query.

And lastly...the last agency that politely declined—wasn't even the agent herself. It was her assistant. So where does that level me? I remember this time where I went in a club or I didn't get into a club because the bouncer told me I didn't dress appropriately. But when in fact, what I was wearing was the fashion for summer and it was the "in" thing in style but because the bouncer didn't know that and had no idea about it, I guess I was just declined. And like now, I didn't even had the fighting chance.

me and my sickness

so i woke up yesterday with a terrible headache. my eyes were hurting on top of that. but i still decided to go to the gym and work out. but right after i felt really sick and nauseated. i was feeling a heat within my body and not the kind of heat people usually associate with the body. i felt very sick by the end of the day...i was burning up. so i brought out the meds and really drank a lot. and last night was horrific. i couldnt sleep but i was really sweaty and perspiring and my shirt kept getting all wet. it was hard, but i got through the night. and here i am...already the next day and i feel fine. thanks to mom and dad :P. anyways im signing out. time to play some guild wars... and yes i do need the break. ive been editing my manuscript nonstop for days. i even finished one chapter last night and by the time i did, my body was ready to cave in.

bye :P_)

voter's registration

got inside the city hall at 2:30pm, left at 7:30pm. you wonder why? because the people who handle votes' registrations are stupid imbeciles that have no sense of time, responsibility, and obligation--in short: they SUCK! Yes, I live in the Philippines particularly in Quezon City and this is how they run things there: slow, glacial, and idiotically. They are the epitome of Filipino ugliness personified. I hate them. I hate everything there is to do with the government. And you ask why I still try to register? Because I want to fucking change this freaking country for the best and throw those people who are sucking all the money of hard workers and laborers. They simply must go. If you can't do your work, why did you even get the job? For money? Then your employer must have been stupid to hire you. So all of the people in COMELEC: go screw yourselves! I hate you all for making the Filipino people wait, dismissing the people who should had been registered, for letting snotty rich people slip cash and cut in line, and for letting people who are supposedly scheduled on a later date-come and register now. You are simply stupid, vile, and downright greedy. I trust the Lord shall do what he must to the likes of you.

querying update

okay so after sending around 20+ queries, more than half didn't reply. although, they expiry time of 4 weeks haven't clocked on. Though I'm afraid they are not going to respond anymore. So what I did, was to remake my query letter. And finally, I achieved the stellar kind. The stellar query I know would surpass everything. Anyways, I got my old grammar books back; and now, I'm brushing up on my punctuation marks. It seems as if I do need a lot of reading. Well, now I have to restart on editing and revising my manuscript. I'm holding query letters just as soon as I finish polishing the manuscript. And i believe, this time, i would reach my dreams (cliche' i know)

3 down... how long to go?

Okay since I have already sent out 10 query letters to prospective agents, I have gotten 3 rejections. One is from someone I totally didn't research on and the other someone I really thought I could make it with. But here's to hoping that my full manuscript we'll be requested and I will go on trying to break in the literary industry.

One fear that I think that keeps bugging me is that I'm Filipino and I do live in the Philippines. I mean how the hell would someone like me? Here in the Philippines.. Be able to publish something that was meant for international readers to the whole of the world. Well I just have to keep trying, right? I hope it all goes well.

The first query I sent out didn't do well as I have hoped, coming from one reject. And the new one I made not doing so good, coming from 2 rejects. Oh I do hope something good comes up.

Reforming the blog

Starting from now on, I won't be posting reviews and stuff like that. Instead I will be focusing on rants and raves about writing and my career on trying to become published.