Rejection again...?

This is the time where all writers have their fingers crossed and praying at the altars asking God to give us a hand up. Yes, this is indeed the time. I'm salivating on the moments that pass by—when all of my dreams are a heartbeat away—or in this case a query away.

I've fixed my stellar query, wrapped it up, customized it to best fit the agent prospect. But, after sending out a batch of 11 queries, it seems like my dream may still be far from being realized. I have gotten three declined responses. First, the response was no since the agency does not handle YA novels anymore. I understand that since it's a company policy. So in short, I wouldn't want them representing me if they really are not representing my work. It's common knowledge. I guess they have a good enough excuse. Secondly, I've sent out a query letter to a maybe agent candidate. Her lineups doesn't include full blown fantasy and dark fantasy. She's more of a laid back fantasy reader with a little bit of everything. Plus she read the synopsis and sample chapters. I think it wasn't really her novel to pick up at the store. I guess that's okay too. But now, I was sent a reject letter by an agency who specializes in YA, fantasy and science fiction. The all three genres that is what I'm all about. To add to that, the agent specifically loves multicultural books which is what my book is. And to add fuel to the fire, they based it on my query only. They didn't even ask for sample chapters. Alas, life being unfair strikes again. I would have kindly understood a declination if it had been on a good standpoint. Not a standpoint that is based on one paragraph that people think the story itself is not good enough to read. I do hope when I find that agent, he gets me for what the book is all about and not because of the query or any other tools the literary world has belittled us into using.

Every rejection is indeed hard to take, but when the rejection is on a really low level of decision making; you question yourself; you question your integrity as a writer; you question your work and its greatness; you question your capability. I do hope the next agent that rejects does in fact reject me because of the fact that he wasn't passionate about my work, not because he just didn't get my query.

And lastly...the last agency that politely declined—wasn't even the agent herself. It was her assistant. So where does that level me? I remember this time where I went in a club or I didn't get into a club because the bouncer told me I didn't dress appropriately. But when in fact, what I was wearing was the fashion for summer and it was the "in" thing in style but because the bouncer didn't know that and had no idea about it, I guess I was just declined. And like now, I didn't even had the fighting chance.